Yeah, I am a bit busy. It seems I crave being super busy and having lots to do. Looking back, I have always been this way. Always on the go doing something. The 'something' always seems to change, but the underlining theme is the same I need to be doing SOMETHING pretty much all the time. Every now and I again, I too get overwhelmed. Yes, I do - you just don't see it. I keep that to myself. No, that's a lie. My family sees it. Sometimes too often.
I can't do it all. I have to repeat this to myself many times. At times, I want to do more while knowing I should do a lot less. But, things ebb and flow. There are times I don't touch my sewing machine for a week or two. Other times, I don't go out on the farm (sorry dear husband). I have actually only been baking once a week or less (maybe I will lose a little weight???). I get tired of doing the SAME things over and over again. I have to learn how to do new things. I may never do them again - or I could get hooked with a whole new hobby. I know, I don't need any more hobbies. But actually, I do. I NEED to keep learning. It's just the way I am wired. Please don't hate me or be jealous of me. It's just the way I am.
However, balance is a tricky thing. I don't always give enough of myself to my family. Somethings I give too much. I am constantly TRYING to be aware of all the things I am doing and how they all interact with each other so one does not completely dominate my world. But really, who am I kidding?! I ALWAYS forget something and drop the ball somehow. Luckily, no major negative consequences have occurred. My family still loves me, the school just knows I am not going to be on many field trips and we will always need lunch money reminders, my customers are patient with me as it takes WEEKS to get some of the sewing projects done, and my friends know I love them even if we don't get to spend much time together but if they need me, I will drop everything and be there.
Some days I suck more than others. Some days I am actually successful. But really, the days that I suck seem to be increasing in number. So, I have just kind of dropped most things these days and tried to scale back. Instead, I have been reading - smut books. Yup, plain old, garden variety, romance novels. I know - me??? YES ME! Nothing but fluff. No learning involved - well, maybe a little, but I won't go there.
So, please be patient with me as I am having a toddler tantrum. 'I don't want to do anything!!!' My house is a mess, our clothes are not clean, we have switched to eating off paper plates. I will get my energy and focus back at some point. Until then, you will find me laying in bed reading while my family does who knows what. Please ignore my clothes and my hair and just picture me as one those really put together mom's. I know you can use your imagination - I just hope you have a great imagination!
Until next time,